Suburbia

lost-in-suburbia-classic-column:-the-perfect-family-weekend

Lost in Suburbia classic column: The perfect family weekend

Columns share an author’s personal perspective.*****As we were drying the last dish from the massive dinner the night before, the proverbial brisket hit the fan.Glancing down for a moment, I suddenly noticed a puddle. Actually, it was a little more than a puddle. It was a tsunami. And it was flowing from the bottom of… … Read More

lost-in-suburbia-classic-column:-teens-and-dogs-and-zombies,-oh-my

Lost in Suburbia classic column: Teens and dogs and zombies, oh my

Columns share an author’s personal perspective.*****“Hey, kiddo. watch’ya doin’?”“Playing a videogame.”“What’s it about?”“Zombies.”“What’s the point of the game?”“You have to kill the Zombies before they eat you.”“Did your dad buy you that game?”“Yeah.”“I figured. So how hard could it be to kill zombies. […] … Read More

lost-in-suburbia-classic-column:-the-mother-of-all-vampire-stories

Lost in Suburbia classic column: The mother of all vampire stories

Columns share an author’s personal perspective.*****I’ve been bitten by a vampire.Okay, not really. But it certainly looks that way. When I woke up one morning, I had two red spots on my neck, about eyeteeth apart in width. This is not typically the place where I get pimples, nor was it likely that they were… … Read More

lost-in-suburbia-classic-column:-catching-flies

Lost in Suburbia classic column: Catching flies

Columns share an author’s personal perspective.*****“Oh … hi!” I said to a pseudo-friend of mine when I ran into her in Dunkin’ Donuts one morning. I call her a pseudo-friend because we are friendly when we run into each other, but I wouldn’t go out of my way to find her in a crowded room.… … Read More

lost-in-suburbia-classic-column:-two-can’t-play-at-that-game

Lost in Suburbia classic column: Two can’t play at that game

Columns share an author’s personal perspective.*****I made the wrong New Year’s resolution.This year I had resolved to lose weight and get in shape. What would have been a better use of my resolution, was to promise not to kill any more appliances.The first casualty of the year was my vacuum cleaner. This was followed the… … Read More

lost-in-suburbia-classic-column:-how-dry-i-am-not

Lost in Suburbia classic column: How dry I am not

Columns share an author’s personal perspective.*****Someone recently told me that I should drink more water to hydrate my skin and delay the aging process. Of course this is the same person who told me to try elephant dung cream for wrinkles, so I’m not exactly sure why I am listening to her about this water… … Read More

lost-in-suburbia-classic-column:-i-drive-her-crazy

Lost in Suburbia classic column: I drive her crazy

Columns share an author’s personal perspective.*****I have to admit … I’m not the best driver. While I’m pretty good at avoiding living things like squirrels and people, and semi-living things like zombies, I have a somewhat checkered past when it comes to avoiding inanimate objects like garage doors, parking meters and other people’s garbage cans.As… … Read More

lost-in-suburbia-classic-column:-row,-row,-row-your-house

Lost in Suburbia classic column: Row, row, row your house

Columns share an author’s personal perspective.*****There are some places where it’s good to have water. Water in the coffee maker is good. Water in the bathtub is good. Water in the basement … not so much.At first it was just a little bit of water, but soon I started finding larger puddles. And then small… … Read More

lost-in-suburbia-classic-column:-what-not-to-wear-when-you’re-a-mom

Lost in Suburbia classic column: What not to wear when you’re a mom

Columns share an author’s personal perspective.*****“What d’ya think?” I asked my daughter, proudly displaying my freshly manicured hands.“Think of what?” she asked without looking up from her phone.“My nails!”She glanced over and frowned.“Ugh.”“Ugh what?” I wondered. “You don’t like the color?”“I don’t like the color on you!” she […] … Read More

lost-in-suburbia-classic-column:-who’s-on-first-…-aid?

Lost in Suburbia classic column: Who’s on first … aid?

Columns share an author’s personal perspective.*****“Mom, do you know what to do in the case of an emergency?” my daughter asked me one day when she got home from school.“Sure,” I replied from the kitchen where I was making dinner. “Yell, ‘HELP!’”She put her little hands on her hips and gave me a disgusted look.“No,… … Read More